Quotes

More Quotes

• "Repentance is the nourisher of piety, the procurer of mercy."

  — Thomas Watson

  The Doctrine of Repentance

• "The two great graces essential to a saint in this life, are faith and repentance. These are the two wings by which he flies to heaven."

  — Thomas Watson

  The Doctrine of Repentance

• "Ask your fears, “What are you saying to me about what is real?” “What are you trying to teach me?"

  — Richard Rohr

  Everything Belongs: The Gift of Contemplative Prayer

• "While the prayer of words is an attempt to express to ourselves our dependence on the great mystery, the prayer of silence is not so much to express, but to experience, that dependence."

  — Richard Rohr

  Everything Belongs: The Gift of Contemplative Prayer

• "As we integrate and forgive our shadow, life looks different. We see what we have never dared look at before."

  — Richard Rohr

  Everything Belongs: The Gift of Contemplative Prayer

• "Wholeness is… understood in terms of one’s inner disposition (of one’s totality), rather than something measured in time and space."

  — John Anthony Berry

  What makes us human? Augustine on interiority, exteriority and the self

• "In the inward man dwells truth."

  — Saint Augustine of Hippo

  On True Religion

• "You will not attain the good, until you give freely of what you love."

  — Pir Zia Inayat-Khan

  Sufi Conference 2008 - Opening Talk with Pir Zia Inayat-Khan & Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

• "The good news is that pain, whether physical or emotional, can function as a powerful catalyst for healing, change, and growth."

  — Friedemann Schaub

  The Self-Acceptance Project

• "Committed action refers to purposeful behavior change in the service of chosen values, with a willingness to experience the thoughts, feelings, and reactions that show up in the process of moving forward."

  — Jill A. Stoddard and Niloofar Afari

  The Big Book of ACT Metaphors

• "One secret of healthy living is the cultivation of healthy self-doubt."

  — Thomas R. Lynch

  Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy

• "Radical openness assumes that we don’t see things as they are but rather as we are."

  — Thomas R. Lynch

  Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy

• "Man’s inhumanity to man Makes countless thousands mourn!"

  — Robert Burns

  Man Was Made To Mourn

• "Self-care is central to life itself."

  — Paul Gilbert

  The origins and nature of compassion focused therapy

• "No one is truly ever gone, since all of us and our connections began at the Big Bang, the explosion of oneness into oneness, and have never come to an end."

  — David Richo

  Everything Ablaze: Meditating on the Mystical Vision of Teilhard de Chardin

• "With spiritual awareness, everyone’s wholeness matters."

  — David Richo

  Wholeness and Holiness

• "When people start to love themselves more each day, it is amazing how their lives get better."

  — Louise Hay

  Meditations for Personal Healing

• "After years of individual counseling with clients, and conducting hundreds of workshops and intensive training programs… I find that there is only one thing that seems to heal every problem, and that is to love yourself."

  — Louise Hay

  Meditations for Personal Healing

• "Honest plain words best pierce the ears of grief."

  — William Shakespeare

  Love's Labour's Lost

• "Bereavement is a universal and integral part of our experience of love. It follows marriage as normally as marriage follows courtship or as autumn follows summer."

  — C. S. Lewis

  A Grief Observed

• "Nothing changes till it becomes what it is."

  — Fritz Perls

  As cited in Homecoming

• "Once something appears before you, ask yourself what is happening inside you and around you—what you are in the midst of experiencing."

  — Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len

  As cited in The Book of Ho’oponopono

• "Compassion involves developing the courage to be open to our anger and rage, not some kind of ‘soothing it away’. Indeed, to say it again, soothing is useful to act like a safe haven but also in preparation to courageously engage with what we need to."

  — Paul Gilbert

  The origins and nature of compassion focused therapy

• "If psychologists and psychiatrists would be in dialogue with the insights of St. John of the Cross and those who experience the dark nights, there could be a marvelous symbiosis of treatment. We are not sick just because of some physiological pathology. It is not just a question of sin either; it is a question of the human condition, for which none of us is initially responsible but, on becoming adults, we are now called to be responsible."

  — Father Thomas Keating

  The Human Condition: Contemplation and Transformation

• "If we have not experienced ourselves as unconditional love, we have more work to do, because that is who we really are."

  — Father Thomas Keating

  The Human Condition: Contemplation and Transformation

• "Our sense of self-worth is much less easily shaken if it is derived from a deeply held sense of self-compassion and self-respect, rather than being contingent on fulfilling certain ideals."

  — Erin Olivo

  The Self-Acceptance Project

• "We know how to be kind and compassionate to others when they’re feeling bad about themselves or are suffering in some way. We know what to say and do. We just have to remember to do it for ourselves."

  — Kristen Neff

  The Self-Acceptance Project

• "As we attune with the heart, our approach to life reverses. Instead of feeling empty, agitated, and disconnected, we discover an inner fullness, peace, and sense of seamlessness."

  — John J. Prendergast

  The Deep Heart: Our Portal to Presence

• "The loving Adult is both father and mother to the Inner Child, regardless of whether we are a man or a woman."

  — Margaret Paul

  Inner Bonding: Becoming a Loving Adult to Your Inner Child

• "All of us face the job of becoming a loving mother and father to our Inner Child."

  — Margaret Paul

  Inner Bonding: Becoming a Loving Adult to Your Inner Child

• "… caring for the self means learning to regulate our emotions when we can through our rhetoric; and, when we cannot, learning to let our emotions wash over us without allowing them to dictate our words and control our behavior."

  — Jeremy David Engels

  The Art of Gratitude

• "Thank God for what doesn’t need healing."

  — Joan Z. Borysenko

  Gratitude: A Way of Life

• "By surrendering to love, by surrendering to God, we can go through each day acknowledging one another with gratitude."

  — Gerald G. Jampolsky, M.D., and Diane V. Cirincione

  Gratitude: A Way of Life

• "The garden is a spiritual place where the mind dwells."

  — Shunmyo Masuno

  Zen Garden Design

• "Nature is always moving and transforming, and Japanese gardens express this quality through the use of plants and trees that move with the wind and change over the seasons."

  Zen Garden Design

• "To submit to the divine therapy is something we owe to ourselves and the rest of humanity."

  — Thomas Keating

  The Human Condition

• "Contemplative prayer is a deepening of faith that moves beyond thoughts and concepts. One just listens to God, open and receptive to the divine presence in one’s inmost being as its source. One listens not with a view to hearing something, but with a view to becoming aware of the obstacles to one’s friendship with God."

  — Thomas Keating

  The Human Condition

• "When we are not thinking, analyzing, or planning and place ourselves in the presence of God in faith, we open ourselves to the contents of the unconscious."

  — Thomas Keating

  The Human Condition

• "Perhaps the biggest tragedy in our lives is that freedom is possible, yet we can pass our years trapped in the same old patterns. Entangled in the trance of unworthiness, we grow accustomed to caging ourselves in with self-judgment and anxiety, with restlessness and dissatisfaction."

  — Tara Brach

  Radical Acceptance

• "Unfinished business encompasses all those things we haven’t said or done. The feelings we wish we allowed ourselves to feel. Those feelings that we have ignored and not attended to."

  — Elisabeth Kübler-Ross & David Kessler

  On Grief & Grieving

• "Why grieve? For two reasons. First, those who grieve well, live well. Second, and most important, grief is the healing process of the heart, soul, and mind; it is the path that returns us to wholeness."

  — Elisabeth Kübler-Ross & David Kessler

  On Grief & Grieving

• "Grief is the intense emotional response to the pain of a loss. It is the reflection of a connection that has been broken. Most important, grief is an emotional, spiritual, and psychological journey to healing."

  — Elisabeth Kübler-Ross & David Kessler

  On Grief & Grieving

• "Unfinished business is the biggest problem in life…. the more lessons we learn the more business we finish, and the more fully we live, really live life."

  — Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

  On Death & Dying

• "There is no correct way or time to grieve."

  — Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

  On Death & Dying

• "A soulful person trusts his intuitions and other forms of inner guidance, knowing that a stronger sense of self abides there."

  — Thomas Moore

  Care of the Soul

• "May you become the gracious and passionate subject of your own life."

  — John O’Donohue

  To Bless the Space Between Us

• "Since in our unconscious mind we are all immortal, it is almost inconceivable for us to acknowledge that we too have to face death."

  — Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

  On Death & Dying

• "To be yourself, you have to learn how to become who you were dreamed to be."

  — John O’Donohue

  To Bless the Space Between Us

• "Make… soul care a way of life, and you may discover what the Greeks called eudaimonia—a good spirit, or, in the deepest sense, happiness."

  — Thomas Moore

  Care of the Soul

• "Something rather than nothing — that is a dividing line between those who believe in God and those who do not."

  — Philip Brownell

  Gestalt Therapy: Advances in Theory and Practice

• "When one is at home in oneself, one is integrated and enjoys a sense of balance and poise. In a sense that is exactly what spirituality is: the art of homecoming."

  — John O’Donohue

  To Bless the Space Between Us

• "May there be kindness in your gaze when you look within."

  — John O’Donohue

  To Bless the Space Between Us

• "While psychotherapy and spiritual practice may both incorporate reflection and presence, the home base of therapy is reflection and the home base of spirituality is presence."

  — John Welwood

  Reflection and Presence: The Dialectic of Awakening

• "… being fully present with ourselves overcomes the inner war, at least for a moment, between self and Other, between “me” and “my experience.” And from there, everything looks and feels different."

  — John Welwood

  Reflection and Presence: The Dialectic of Awakening

• "It takes time and practice to develop the ongoing consciousness: “Am I being a Loving Adult to my Inner Child?”"

  — Margaret Paul, PhD

  Inner Bonding

• "If we do not accept the responsibility of being both the father and mother to our Inner Child, then our Child will seek elsewhere for someone to do it."

  — Margaret Paul, PhD

  Inner Bonding

• "By reparenting our Inner Child, we can release and heal the pain from the past."

  — Margaret Paul, PhD

  Inner Bonding

• "Psychotherapy generally fails when it does not help individuals to discover the place within or without (depending upon the individual’s belief system) where they can go to connect with the spiritual truth."

  — Margaret Paul, PhD

  Inner Bonding

• "Mystics in many spiritual traditions see suffering as necessary, essential, the only means toward closeness to God or to existential transcendence. Yet in our medicalized world, normal bereavement and trauma are turned into mental disorders with diagnostic codes, which then become treatable with medications. But if grief is a disease, so too must be love."

  — Dr. Joanne Cacciatore

  Bearing the Unbearable

• "Beauty and pain coexist. But when we are in the early phases of grieving, in order to eventually see beauty in the world again, we must first feel and inhabit our pain."

  — Dr. Joanne Cacciatore

  Bearing the Unbearable

• "The Serenity Prayer… is a succinct and meaningful way of talking about acceptance and willingness when addressing difficult life circumstances."

  — Jill A. Stoddard, PhD and Niloofar Afari, PhD

  The Big Book of ACT Metaphors

• "While traditional spiritual cultures of the East have specialized in illuminating the… “heaven” side of human nature — Western psychology has focused on the earthly half… We need a new vision that embraces all…. domains of human existence…."

  — John Welwood

  Toward a Psychology of Awakening

• "When your relationship exhibits consistently high levels of secure functioning, you and your partner automatically increase the resources you’re able to use for personal development, mutual physical and mental health… You become more resilient as individuals and as a couple, able to manage the slings and arrows of life and its unknowns."

  — Stan Tatkin

  We Do

• "It is only when we are willing to do our own inner work and take full responsibility for our own Inner Child that we can change the dysfunctional, codependent parenting that dominates our society. As we become healthy, so will our children and their children, leading to a healthy society."

  — Margaret Paul

  Inner Bonding

• "Even when we try hard to be good parents, when we are not being loving to our own Inner Child, we are teaching our children to be unloving to themselves."

  — Margaret Paul

  Inner Bonding

• "For a strong and lasting partnership, both of us must be connected to our own inner feelings, as well willing to be open to learning about the other’s."

  — Margaret Paul

  Inner Bonding

• "The most important thing we can learn about loving each other is the paradox that we must learn to love ourselves first."

  — Margaret Paul

  Inner Bonding

• "Those of us who have suffered from extreme physical, sexual, and emotional abuse have a big challenge trying to create a loving Inner Adult."

  — Margaret Paul

  Inner Bonding

• "When our Inner Child feels consistently unloved by our Inner Adult, the Child’s false beliefs, adopted in childhood when parents were unloving, are reinforced—beliefs that we are bad, wrong, unlovable, unimportant, inadequate, defective in some way."

  — Margaret Paul

  Inner Bonding

• "When our Inner Child is feeling consistently loved by our Inner Adult, he or she is a wondrous being—trusting, creative, imaginative, curious, passionate, playful, energetic, enthusiastic, spontaneous, soft, sensitive, sensual, with an incredible sense of wonder and aliveness. Delighted just to be alive, he or she is open and receptive to new ideas and experiences."

  — Margaret Paul

  Inner Bonding

• "When you are being loving to yourself, your shame lessens and your self-esteem rises."

  — Margaret Paul

  Inner Bonding

• "Inner Bonding is a process of connecting our Adult thoughts with our instinctual gut feelings, the feelings of our “Inner Child,” so that we can live free of conflict within ourselves."

  — Margaret Paul

  Inner Bonding

• "Establishing boundaries helps us raise children who know how to handle disappointment and who are therefore strong, adaptable, and self-reliant."

  — Susan Stiffelman

  Parenting with Presence

• "Sorrow and contentment, grief and beauty, longing and surrender coexist in the realm of sameness… We are not either happy or sad. We are not either grieving or grateful. We are not either content or despairing. We are both/and."

  — Joanne Cacciatore

  Bearing the Unbearable

• "Self-care is not a selfish act; it is an act of generosity for self and others."

  — Joanne Cacciatore

  Bearing the Unbearable

• "For all who love, suffering is inevitable. To love deeply is one of life’s most profound gifts, and the loss of a loved one is one of life’s most profound tragedies."

  — Joanne Cacciatore

  Bearing the Unbearable

• "Grief education is quintessential to shifting our culture’s antagonistic relationship to grief, and expressive, creative arts are an important part of this."

  — Joanne Cacciatore

  Bearing the Unbearable

• "Solace and care come from many sources. Others who listen deeply, attentively, and nonjudgmentally can be found in the least expected places. Take note, pay attention, and seek help from those willing to be present with you. Time with these kinds of people can carry you through perilous terrain."

  — Joanne Cacciatore

  Bearing the Unbearable

• "It almost seems that the only way to eradicate our grief would be to relinquish the love we feel — to disassemble our loved one’s place in our lives. But checking in with the wisdom of our heart, we see that is impossible. Grief and love occur in tandem."

  — Joanne Cacciatore

  Bearing the Unbearable

• "The psychologist Rollo May wrote, “One does not become fully human painlessly.” It is through inhabiting, often painfully, our emotions that we are able to become fully human. Through grief, we can experience an alchemical transformation that cannot be contrived, hastened, or imparted by others."

  — Joanne Cacciatore

  Bearing the Unbearable

• "Grief comes to one and all; no one is exempt. We must remember our dead. We must do better for the bereaved. We must embody compassion. To be redeemed we must remember. Remembering is our duty — and the only thing that will save us."

  — Joanne Cacciatore

  Bearing the Unbearable

• "The practice of conscious “abdominal” breathing… is the bridge between the conscious and unconscious functions of our nervous system."

  — Alexis Brink

  The Art of Jin Shin

• "Trauma is a fact of life. It does not, however, have to be a life sentence. Not only can trauma be healed, but with appropriate guidance and support, it can be transformative. Trauma has the potential to be one of the most significant forces for psychological, social, and spiritual awakening and evolution."

  — Peter Levine

  Waking the Tiger

• "You are human. You are imperfect. You don’t begin with perfectly pure motives. If you’re like most of us, your motives are probably almost embarrassing next to the excellence you want to reach. You look in the mirror and you know this to be true. And guess what? It’s not a secret. Get started anyway. Begin where you are. It’s the only place where you can begin."

  — Eric Greitens

  Resilience

• "Depression and anxiety are downward spirals: patterns of negative, unhealthy activity and reactivity that the brain ends up stuck in… Recent research has uncovered the power of the upward spiral: the fact that small positive life changes lead to positive brain changes in its electrical activity, its chemical composition, and even its ability to grow new neurons… Upward spirals can reverse the downward patterns of depression and anxiety…"

  — Alex Korb

  The Upward Spiral

• "… by making small changes in your thoughts, actions, interactions, and environment, it’s possible to change the activity and chemistry of the key brain circuits underlying depression and anxiety."

  — Alex Korb

  The Upward Spiral

• "People first awaken to a spiritual dimension in their lives in an incredible variety of ways. Some people seem to open up to it through traumatic experiences… Other people awaken through meditation or through religious experiences. Others arrive at it through sex or through drugs."

  — Ram Dass

  Polishing the Mirror

• "It’s an overflowing love which is purely spontaneous, unmotivated, groundless and creative . . . the love of God operating in the human heart."

  — Martin Luther King, Jr.

  As cited in: Be Love Now

• "The heart area is central to human experience. It is where we feel most affected and touched, both emotionally and spiritually. Our sense of meaning springs from the heart, as does our sense of oneness or communion with the whole of life."

  — John J. Prendergast

  The Deep Heart

• "We all have a sacred calling that has very little to do with what we accomplish in this world. It is the calling of the sacred – the quiet pull of an implicit wholeness within each of us that awaits our conscious recognition."

  — John J. Prendergast

  The Deep Heart

• "Amongst all of the existential angst of modern life there is a blossoming of spirit arising within the collective psyche of humanity."

  — Adyashanti

  The Deep Heart

• "When you know the answer you won’t ask the question."

  — Unknown Zen Master

  Alan Watts, Psychotherapy East & West

• "True healing is not a destination, not about ridding yourself of pain, fear, sorrow, and all that, not about becoming perfect, or immune, or untouchable, but has something to do with saying YES to the present moment (the only moment we are ever truly in connection with), and affirming it, even if it is uncomfortable right now."

  — Jeff Foster

  The Self-Acceptance Project

• "Even though no word can capture the boundless mystery of what you are, some people use the word awareness; some people use the word consciousness; some people use the word presence, spirit, god, space, emptiness, source, life . . . but in the end, the language we use really doesn’t matter, and can just become yet another distraction. You exist before language, concepts, dreams, conclusions — be- fore even the most beautiful and spiritual words like awakening, enlightenment, and love."

  — Jeff Foster

  The Self-Acceptance Project

• "Ultimately, self-acceptance relates to the opening of the heart. It has to do with the long, hard journey of loving ourselves."

  — Mark Nepo

  The Self-Acceptance Project

• "The person to whom we have the highest moral obligation is the one over whom we have the highest influence, and that is our future self. So, if you want to give yourself a gift tomorrow or next year, or perhaps in the next lifetime, treat yourself well."

  — Rick Hanson

  The Self-Acceptance Project

• "An emotion is your brain’s creation of what your bodily sensations mean, in relation to what is going on around you in the world."

  — Lisa Feldman Barrett

  How Emotions Are Made

• "It is not feelings that are the problem, but what we do with them that matters. The freedom to deal with them and to confront them with reason and faith is what makes us fully human."

  — Thomas Keating

  The Human Condition: Contemplation and Transformation

• "This is the wisdom of anxiety: the call to turn inward so that you can fill your well and turn back outward to give to a world that needs you."

  — Sheryl Paul

  The Wisdom of Anxiety

• "Emotion skills are the key to unlocking the potential inside each one of us."

  — Marc Brackett

  Permission to Feel